You scan the palm of your hand
Searching for a sense to your life
Searching, but you see nothing
Things come out of oblivion
Your head and your heart are fed up
Thoughts meddled your spirit
In your heart, pain is read
But your soul does not give up
Your soul refuses quitting
In chains it is still fighting
The suffering made you sick
Too often tolerated
It became a bloody prison
The extreme of your feelings
Fears became phobias
Tears will not wash away what is soiled
Listen to the roaring shadows
But you refuse quitting
In chains you’re still fighting
Your heart has sacrified everything
Ready to endure everything
Your spirit meditates in silence
On what no longer has any sense
I know what you’re going through
Hoping to pull through
But it does not happen
And it never ends
Forbid yourself from quitting
Because the past is not for living
Do not scan the palm of your hands
Searching for a sense to your life
The future is in her eyes
It’s up to you to write your line
As life is what inspire you
[Posted Saturday 30 August 2008, 11H06] I am born in city, I lived there for 37 years, I have left it definately. Now I live in the south west near Bordeaux, ancient slave trading port, something that the people of Bordeaux avoid talking about or even admit. Well, let’s leave Bordeaux and the city center, let’s go to the countryside where the air is cleaner, where silence replaces the agitation of Babylon !
For peace sake, I will not mention the name of the village, let’s call it Zion. On the road to the left it’s near home, let’s go ! First point, there is an enormous dog, pretending not to look at you, either he will welcome you or will bark at you, it’s normal that’s his job. Well you are with me, he sniffs you and lets you come into his home the Garden. He will try to frighten you, and you won’t be too brave because even if you are hot stuff, you will be faced with 60 kgs of springy muscles and a jaw of 2 tons pressure, no use pretending to be hot stuff you are no match. Enough talk, I settle you in the shade of the tree. Yeh you are melting, it’s normal we are in the south west of France, by the way it’s a fascist country, yes believe me, France voted in Sarko, alas yes ! You must open your peepers friend, even your next door neighbour detests you because he thinks you are different from him. It is true, he is right, I am different from him, I am not a racist. Well then, you settle in the cool under the big beech tree with the dog for company. The dog will stand facing you as to watch a potential prey. Yeh man, he is at home, it’s him the master of the garden. The dog could also stand behind you to watch every move you make. He will not look for trouble because he knows he is superior to you, he is there just to caulk at you, it’s his way to get to know you. Of course you can boast, try to surpass your fear and call him to wheedle him then he will stare even more intensely at you. If you back down, it’s finish for you, you will become his favorite toy. But if, on the opposite, you maintain his killer look, you’ve won , you will have it good and could become best friends. I often use my dog to find out who enters my home. If the dog growls you will stay on the pavement. If he is cool then you will come in.
I bring you something to quench your thirst and then I present you with a homemade spliff, you are still boasting, dragging like a moron on that spliff thinking it’s H ! There, in a fraction of a second, you understand too late, your mistake to have inhale like a small cockerel on what is some red weed. It slapped you in the face, you are not feeling well, everything turns around you and you say to yourself : It’s a good thing I am in Zion. Yes it’s true here at least nobody is going to stress you, then you begin to relax, no other option, you lie down, you re-open your eyes, you find yourself still lying on the grass, with the doggy sleeping by your side. You are feeling good ! You slept well, even if you did not come for this, the spliff of red weed transported you, it seems to have done you some good and that it’s great !
You get up and walk towards the house, no need to open the front door because it’s always opened, specially in summer. You recognise the sound of a tom bass, of a charley, of the caisse claire, you walk towards the sound, always tracked by the dog watching you nicely : What are you doing in my master’s house ? The dog will watch you even more because there you are on dangerous ground, but as long as you keep cool, the dog won’t do anything. There is a door, you open it and you enter, closing it behind you, stopping the dog to enter, no problem he will wait for you behind it. Now your eyes look at the music room. Yeh, you are in my music studio, personal and common at the same time. You see me drumming, I see you and smile at you, I suggest to refresh your face with water but you say no because of the dog, but I insist and go with you to get you a clean towel. And then I suggest you play with me, by chance you are a he or she musician, super you can play bass, a god send, bass drum, swell we rave together, we do what ever comes to mind, funk, rock , soul, bossa, roots, dub and even some undistinguishable sounds, we don’t care, we feel good ! The day passes nicely, we are angry, I prepare some I-tal food, you eat meat but no, not this time, here no meat, here apart from the doggy nobody eats red meat, chicken yes but no other meat. I prepare the food, all is cool, we talk of nothing and everything
It’s 08:00 pm, it’s still daylight, we are not thinking of going home, anyway you can’t, here in Zion, no buses or trains for the big city. Babylon we don’t miss you ! We eat with appetite, you, me, them, us, never mind how many people, there will always be enough to eat for everone. Then it’s nightfall, whilst you were passing out in the garden, I have prepared your bed in a room next to mine, well I sleep in the lounge where there is the sound and the telly which I only switch on late at night to go to sleep. All is calm, we are in the country, we do not feel like sleeping then I suggest a cup of coco to be drunk hot in the fresh of the night. We come out, sitting on the door step of the casa or sitting on the lawn where you had your first beddy-byes, we drink our coco with or without words, no importance we feel good, all is cool, peaceful and calm. I pass around the spliff, your hand reach for it but you know what to expect with the spliff this time, you are going to be more careful in future. And after one hour or two, we decide to crash out because tireness is felt, each one goes to his room and fall asleep without any difficulty.
Me, the next day, I get up early because I do not want to miss the sun rising over our heads and roofs. It is one of the most beautiful spectacle that Jah gives us since time began. I hurry to prepare the kawa or whatever you like to take on waking up. If you want to take a shower there is already prepared, all you need to make yourself he or she beautiful. I invite you to see the spectacle if you are awake, and now you understand why I love Zion, you are astunished yourself and you believe today in the superior existance of a natural force. You were feeling good yesterday, you are feeling good today ! what a beautiful life is to live in Zion the beautiful, Zion the great, Zion the marvellous.
[Posted Monday 11 August, 2008, 00H31] A friend of mine I like and respect very much, asked me lately why I was not showing some photo shots of my island. She meant Martinique.
In reality, my roots are african, and not from Martinique or the French West Indies. I am not a West Indian, even if I have lived there for some years with my parents. First, I am born in France, my father is african, my mother is japanese, and I have lived a little bit everywhere. I am of african origin, as my father is black and I do not question myself about where I was born, simply my skin is black therefore I am african.
I think that my friend did not look carefully at my blogs, because there are quite few photos of Martinique : beaches, landscapes, photos of what I think is important at the moment. In my shots, you will not see Babylon, cities are not nice enough to be captured in a photo. And after all Babylon bores me, it is too present in my everyday life ! Babylon the great is everywhere on this planet. Babylon the great devours everything on its way. Babylon detests the opposition. Babylon the great is the biggest danger for the entire humanity. Babylon the great knows this, but she wants us to become her slaves to better control us.
Facing Babylon the great, there are small resisting tribes, which are fighting to stop Babylon from swallowing everything, from destroying as it habitually does. Babylon has been harmful to earth. Babylon the great has tried to divide us to better reign as the omnipotent mistress of the world. Babylon the great has found the mean to scatter entire population elsewhere to enslave them for life.
The problem my friends is that they want us to believe that we are free but no one is free. The big Babylon gives you, yes, but to have a stronger hold on your life.
Babylon would like to be compared with Jah, but Jah cannot be matched ? Babylon wants to play Jah’s role, Jah watches over us, Jah comforts us, Jah supports us, Jah shows her love ! What is Babylon doing for us, apart from pissing us off, apart from taking our money to invest in some weapons to kill our brothers and sisters ? What is Babylon doing for us, apart from creating a world of slaves and suffering ?
Babylon cannot be like Jah, she has not his forgiveness. Babylon does not forgive your past mistakes. With Jah, you can repent at least once for each fault, as long as it is not repeated. With Babylon you make one mistake in your life and the whore never lets you forget it.
Babylon pushes us to have pre-conceived ideas about our brothers and sisters. Babylon pushes some to become racist towards the same race as their own, meaning the human race. Babylon pushes us all to become criminals. Babylon pushes us towards a life we don’t want, in Babylon everything is a world of lies.
Babylon the great does not spread good seeds, she only engender future killers. Babylon creates an equal number of victims and of killers. Babylon is terrible, Babylon is the world of Beelzebub. If you are looking for the Devil, go to Babylon, you will find him at every crossroad, you will find him at every street corner, you will find him in the heart of some blood sucking human. A long time ago, city people went to the countryside to hunt witches, priestlings, judges, badgers and others went on crusades against the small people of the country. If you were unlucky to be born red head, you were labelled as a sorcerer, your final destination was the bonfire, idem for the children. If you were mulato or black you were automatically a criminal or a thief, your destination was the rope or the chopper.
BABYLON, BABYLON, BABYLON, FUCK YOU ! YOU ARE A JOKE !
When I smoke some Ganja
My spirit wakes up and I recall
That in the deepest of myself, a being becomes a rebel
I know my place from a spiritual message
It’s not amongst the does
What do you think, but close to the Lion
What do you want me to tell you
Apart from what you already know
This knowledge is a weapon
In which you must believe
They call me free, hard will be the fight
My chains are misery
Jah where can we find the light
In this jungle city ?
Peace amongst the people
Rastas hope for it
All this violence
Rastas reject it
All we want
Is live and smoke Ganja
All we want
It’s to dance to Jah’s music
All we want
It’s to sing to Jah’s music
All we want
It’s to live and smoke Ganja
I want to see the prophecy
Of Rastaman who says
Babylon your throne will collapse !
And I will dance with you all night
My feet are my only transport
I must go forward, but what road to take ?
What do you want me to tell you
Apart from what you already know
Do not sell your faith in Jah
And the door to Zion will open for you
If Babylon does not object to it
All we want is to live and smoke Ganja
[Posted Tuesday 2 march, 2010, 9H24] From the coulour of my skin, without any doubt I am a black man ! But before all I am an African and my true land will be therefore Mama Africa. At the moment, I only know the north of Mama Africa but I swore to myself that one day I will go to black Africa in order to feel really at home. In truth, before being African, I am first of all an earthling trying to live on a corrupt planet. Well, let’s get back to Mama Africa. Until now, I did not know where to go in Africa because there are wars almost everywhere. However, there are still some areas not polluted by human stupidity. Places where peace still reigns, this is where I want to go.
A friend of mine who only wants the best for me, told me that it does not cost sweet nothing to go to Africa, that hotels are in general catering for the Whites and that it was more expensive than I could imagine. I don’t care about hotels for Whites because I don’t want to be with the Whites. I intend to go to African’s home where I would feel much better. I want to go on a photo safari in Kenya, to find myself amidst animals and mother nature, I can’t take it anymore to live in France, country of loonies of all sorts. I have a great need to find myself amongst mine, the Blacks, the Africans. As I am in remission [from cancer], I want to purify myself in Africa, at last to know my ancestors and the land of my brothers and sisters. Therefore, I am going to treat myself to a trip over there. Will I come back from it ? But if I can stay put, frankly I will, with a passport and a little money I think I can manage.
If not, I come from Madinina, but I am a little unease, the mentality has been soiled by ears that once again have grabbed the land that does not belong to them. I cannot live in Martinique because it is far too dirty, concrete in all corners and also the country is under France protectorate ! Yuk it stinks ! I regret that french West Indians refuse to emancipate as did the british West Indies. Blacks from the West Indies are happy with their small status of being French, they do not want to get poor. Overthere, they have the Euro, they prefer the dosh despite remaining semi-slave all their life. The french West Indians have no balls, I am disappointed in their mentality of faked niggers because who does not try, obtains nothing.
Tuesday 10 February, 2009, 12H00. I am disappointed in God because he does not care a peanut. God is not a good God as I have been thinking since I was born. God is not almighty, humans have the full power, it is them who make the good weather and the bad weather. God is only a faint copy of reality, believing in God, believing in his might does not lead anywhere.
God is a coward, blind and deaf and dumb. Satan has more power than God. I am disappointed, I had faith in God, today I know that God is not as almighty as I thought. God is nothing at all, he can go to hell. It is because of him that hell is here on earth. God is an other bastard and believing in him is a waste of time. We do not need him, but he needs us to exist. God is pityful, he does not react to the unfairness of men. He lets it happen, he lets all to be said, he disgusts me at the highest point, today I deny you, at least prove us to be the one we think you are or fuck off, I do not fear you, you are a little shit.
Monday 20 April, 10H15. My friends have gone on holiday to Turkey for 10 days, as always I am worried for their safety. Over there, there are lots of fanatics, criminals that would not hesitate to take your life to become martyrs in the name of their God. They don’t even have the courage to kill without naming God ! It is true, God gives us and takes life but it is not a killer. He is what us human could never be. He is hight and depth, God is full and void. God is love and forgiveness. God is life and death. God is hot and cold. God is strength and weakness. We humans, we are these things, these elements, we are at his scale, only little laboratory rats, we do to the rats what Jah does since the human race existed. Somewhere else there are other human civilisations more or less advanced than us, I do not believe that we are the only humans. Never mind, we are not yet knowledgable enough to find each other.
Because life on Earth is very hard, the inhabitants of this planet are crual, not enough solidarity between them, not enough brotherhood between us. Man is God’s creation, Man is the disciple of the master, the master teaches and the disciple would like to surpass his master, then Man fabricates destructive weapons and follows his animal instinct. The human race is the only sub-species that attacks whatever it encounters. Only by procreating, we give life but we bring up our seeblings as ourselves, it is a good thing that free thinking still exists otherwise Hell would be queen in the life of each of us.
The richest amongst us are sheltered from nothing, they will just take hell but with more glitter. To be rich does not give you any more right but just to live. You think that your millions will allow you to be the only boss, come on, wake up Mister the rich, because your land is also my land, the air you breath is also my air, your thoughts are also my thoughts. The dosh that you dearly cherish gives you a lot of worries in your life. This is not the case for the poor people, they don’t worry about what they don’t have, money is not the only concern in their life. To live is to die, to die is to live. It’s the same being rich or poor ! Jah is the master of this big upheaval. It is only in the world of Babylon that money is law. In the world where there is no commercial dealings, where money is not the first incentive, you must cultivate and bend down to eat, you do not need a villa to feel at home, you do not need a car to move around, your legs are a free mean to move around in your big world.
Because Jah is great, it gave us everything on a plate, we just have to bend our pine and start working to live without this damned money that chains us all, which does make nobody happy. Life essential is not your money. Life essential is not your personal comfort. For me, my life essential is to have a good health, to love and cultivate the land of Jah. Of course ! you who live in Babylon, you are not lucky, you are not free because you are watched from all sides, eyes and ears are on you permanently.
Man, Woman, you do not live. You are only playing the game of those who have the power of money, but money does not make happiness, it only contributes to make you even more of a slave to the boss. Come on, wake up or will you go through your long life miserably or will you wake up and at last cultivate to grow up near Jah Rastafari !
Wednesday 21 September, 2005, 9h30. The human body is a war machine with more stamina than any other war machine. Myself I trust in the resistance of the body that God gave me to allow myself to go through the rings of the life cycle. In my misfortune, I am also lucky that my body is quite resilient to AIDS, there are lots of people who die of AIDS in the world. I fight on, I fight against it because I love life, nobody can remove AIDS from my body, maybe they have already found a cure for it but they prefer to keep it at the moment. Me, I have learnt to live with AIDS for the last 15 years, I had ups and downs but at the end I am still here amongst the living, I am not yet lying down in a little white pine box and nobody is coming yet to lay flowers on my grave. This day will come but it’s not for now.
In the course of my life, I have not directly been confronted with death, both my parents are alive, I have not lost any of my brothers or sisters, or friends. I dread terribly the day my parents will go away to meet God, but at least they would have lived a long time on this planet. That day I will probably be very sad, I will ask myself if I have been a good son to them and if I have made the best of their presence when they were alive and amongst us. You must not reject death, as it is also part of our life, like two sisters looking alike, one is white, the other is black. These two sisters love each other very much and hold respect for each other. Us human, we are only modest passing clients because death follows life and it is an eternal begining since time began. To say or hearing people say that they are not afraid of dying is stupid, and most of all it is not true. God made us like living machines to evolve as good or bad (this is not the point) and not to let us die or wait for death, which does not come necessarily immediately. Death must wait for God’s sign to take us far away to his country. In fact we talk of the Angel of Death, the Angel of Life, the angel etc etc.
There is almighty God. There is the Angel of Life and the Angel of Death. After there is the rest of the house of God. I do not know them all, so sorry if I stop there. I have learnt that many things go in pairs. There is the illness and the cure. There is life and death. There is separation and union. There is love and hate. There is stupidity and intelligence. The list is long, then why worry about it ? to be first everywhere and in everything. I try to live well and for a long time then when death will come, I’ll let her take me and take me away to her kingdom hoping that she will give me some treats that I have not had as a human being.
I am waiting to be presented to and received by God with the honour owed to a great warrior, I deserve this. I will not need to speak in details of my life, my strengths and weaknesses. Frankly until now, I have not killed anyone in my life and if it could stay as it is the better. In my opinion, when I will kick the bucket, the guardian angels, in their best interest, better not piss me off. No way, would I come back on earth to do another turn, I easily give my seat to any nutcase who has not yet had its dose of it. Even if the angel said : In your next life you will be handsome, rich and in good health for the duration of your life, I would answer : No way, I am coming back to this human bordello. I am not interested to repeat again and again the same mistakes, earth I had enough. I have been sent to a planet, a planet without morons, this I rather prefer. I don’t mind being changed into a flying elf in the magic forest of Martialand with the motto : At Martialand we have everything as long as you need nothing, all at an unbeatable price. Finally, if I must be pissed off, it may as well be on this one because after my life I expect not to be obliged to do what I do not wish to do. They say that we will be bodyless spirits, they say that I will be faster than the speed of light and faster that the sound barrier. I live only to find out if it is true, no more pain in the legs, now I am where I want to be, no need for passport or custom checks, I go through and fuck you.
Tuesday 14 May, 1996. My will power lets me down, yesterday I did’nt go to work because I was supposed to have a blood test but I did not attend to it either. This morning, it is the same story and on top of it, it’s raining which makes me feel less and less wanting to go to work under this rain freezing my bones. Also I just smoked an african spliff and I don’t feel like moving neither for work or for the blood test which in any case would not change anything. In fact it has no importance ! If I have to die tomorrow or even today, after all I would have had a good life. There are people unhappier than me, I have had the chance to be born in a large family. I have had the chance to go to several private schools. I was lucky to have a black father and a white mother. I was lucky because, at a very young age, I have travelled to the four corners of France with my parents. I was lucky to have brothers and sisters whom took some beating in my place. I had the chance at 12 years old to go for the first time to Martinique, country of my father where I was doubly happy because I was away from the french metropolitan private schools. I was lucky to have a father who worked in a bank in the great capital Paris.
Later on, I have had the opportunity to rebel and do as I pleased. I have been able to manage to get around on my own. I have been through moments of real hardships of money and identity and existence. I had the chance and not the shame to sleep with men, sometimes for money or just to feel loved and for a bit of attention. I was lucky to meet varied people in my life, whom made me discover other forms of art : painting, music, singing, african dances, writing, sport. I was lucky to have had a perfect body, to know it and to show it. I have been lucky to make true friends to whom I could confide in my joys and my sorrows and rely on them. Somewhat, I have also been lucky to go to prison because I can talk about it and there I could see where my ideal was, in prison or out of it. I was lucky to meet men whom have really loved me and vice versa, to hear comforting words and to receive gestures that heal. I have been able to have various jobs, some as voluntary worker and some renumerated.
Voluntary work : child minding, dog sitting, make bread and croissants, comfort brokenhearts, be in various charitable organizations (Me homeless) bringing bread and cakes but also respect to all the people around me (I mean the poor), or care for and love all sorts of creatures, big or small, beautiful or ugly, nice or nasty, domestic or wild.
Renumerated work : plumber, barman, prostitute, stable boy, model, leaflets distribution, gardener, musician, decorator, stage manager of a short film, red coat in school holiday camps, lady’s hairdresser, country veterinary assistant, picker (grapes, apples, sugar canes), work in forests and more I will not mention.
Today and for the last three years I travel to the other side of the Atlantic, I have people I love very much and that I would not denigrate for no one and for nothing in the world. I am working part-time, I play the music I like, I am trying to respect equally all people and it’s not easy. I love a girl or rather the souvenir of having sat on a plane for 3 hours only, next to a girl smoking cigarettes after cigarettes, talking about our lives and wishes, ending by an exchange of addresses. I have been smoking for quite a long time, I had some laughs with this disgusting healing grass, good for man and animals, sometimes a killer for those who smoke it without understanding that it is not just a drug to eat or sleep or laugh like an idiot telling the others the effect the drug has on them. They talk of seeing pink elephants. They say it’s cool, as soon as they see a film on TV they want to do the same on the street. They say that they smoke to forget, they say it helps them to live, but for me it just makes me laugh.
Thursday 28 August, 2003 at 01h 30 in the morning. At the moment, I feel the after effects of my siesta at 3:30 pm. I can’t sleep, alone with my distress. I scribble on the blank paper searching for some primitive inspiration that would save me from my unhappiness. Writing is the safer way to escape without luggages, without real limits, a moment here and a moment there, coming and going as I please without ever getting tired of the ink flowing from my Bic biro. What I relate is not of great importance, what is important it is to listen to the music of the Bic biro on the white sheet of paper.
People around me urge me to write about my life, I think about it and I hesitate, thinking to face this work on my own is not going to be an easy task. Although it is a good idea, maybe it could be my turn to become rich and famous or maybe remain unknown. But is it so important to be rich nowadays ? Yes, I think more and more often that it is. However if I write this book, it is not for the money but to tell my life story, my struggle, my hardship facing the disease, facing friendship, facing love of men and of a woman. For this I must reconstituate my story, my family, my brothers and sisters, my schoolfriends, some desired and undesired friendships.
I think it’s a bit too much for me, and also it reminds me of trips that today I would rather forget. If I write a book about myself, I shall talk about my fight to survive against the adversity of an illness. My book will be a book full of hope for all HIV positive in France and worldwide. I shall explain that the illness can be partly overcome if the subject has faith in his or her heart, and that he or she must not lose joy for living even when lying alone and helpless on an hospital bed.
The reason is that then God comes to one and hears our prayers, if one wants to live one must tell him, if one wants to die one must tell him as well. Everything depends on our personal fight to face the illness. As long as we breathe there is hope. It is the nicest present to be on earth and not underneath. Although dying is normal, I believe entirely in this, I wish to live a long time with my young princess and my few friends that love and cuddle me.
Mercredi 21 septembre 2005, 9H30. Le corps humain est une machine de guerre avec plus de résistance que n’importe quelle machine de guerre. Moi, je fais confiance à la résistance de mon corps que Dieu m’a donné pour me permettre de traverser les anneaux du cycle de vie. Dans mon malheur, j’ai aussi de la chance car mon corps résiste bien à la maladie du sida, il y a encore beaucoup de gens qui meurent du sida dans le monde. Je résiste, je résiste car j’aime la vie, le sida personne ne me l’enlèvera de mon corps, peut-être ont-ils le remède à portée de main mais ils préfèrent le garder pour eux pour le moment. Moi, j’ai appris à vivre avec le sida depuis 15 ans, il y a eu des hauts et des bas mais au bout du compte je suis encore là vivant parmi les vivants, je ne suis pas encore allongé dans la petite boîte de sapin blanc et personne ne vient planter des fleurs sur ma tombe. Ce jour-là viendra, mais pas tout de suite.
Je n’ai jamais été confronté à la mort directement, mes deux parents sont âgés mais bien vivants, je n’ai pas perdu de frère ni de sœur, ni de copains ou copines, au cours de ma vie. Je redoute terriblement le jour où mes deux parents vont s’en aller auprès de Dieu, mais au moins ils auront vécu longtemps sur notre planète. Ce jour-là, je serai très triste probablement, je me demanderai si j’ai été un bon fils pour mes parents et si j’ai profité assez de leur présence quand ils étaient encore vivants et parmi nous. Il ne faut pas rejeter la mort, elle fait partie de la vie aussi, ce sont deux sœurs qui se ressemblent point par point, l’une est blanche, l’autre noire. Ces deux sœurs s’aiment beaucoup et se respectent mutuellement. Les humains que nous sommes ne sont que de simples clients de passage, car la vie suit la mort, et c’est un éternel recommencement depuis la nuit des temps. Se dire ou s’entendre dire qu’on n’a pas peur de la mort est stupide, et de toute façon faux. Car Dieu nous a faits comme des machines pour vivre et évoluer en bien ou en mal (là n’est pas la question), et non pour se laisser mourir et attendre la mort, qui d’ailleurs ne vient pas forcément immédiatement. La mort doit attendre le signal de Dieu pour nous emporter loin dans son pays. D’ailleurs ne dit-on pas l’ange de la mort, l’ange de la vie, l’ange etc etc.
Il y a Dieu et sa toute-puissance. Il y a l’ange de la vie puis l’ange de la mort. Il y a ensuite le reste de la maison du bon Dieu, je ne les connais pas tous, alors désolé si j’arrête là. J’ai appris que beaucoup de choses allaient par deux. Il y a la maladie et aussi la guérison. Il y a la mort et aussi la vie. Il y a la séparation et aussi l’union. Il y a la haine mais aussi l’amour. Il y a la connerie mais aussi l’intelligence. La liste est longue, alors pourquoi se prendre la tête pour être le premier partout et sur tous les fronts. J’essaie de vivre bien et longtemps, ensuite quand la mort viendra je la laisserai me prendre et m’emporter dans son royaume en espérant qu’elle me fera des petites gâteries que je n’ai pas eu droit étant humain.
J’attends que Dieu se présente à moi et me reçoive comme un grand guerrier avec tous les honneurs qui me seront dus. Je n’aurai pas besoin de parler pour détailler ma vie, mes points forts et mes points faibles. Franchement, jusqu’à maintenant je n’ai tué personne dans ma vie et si ça pouvait ne pas arriver ça serait bien cool. À mon avis quand je crèverai, les anges gardiens du ciel n’ont pas intérêt à me faire chier la bite. Pas question de redescendre sur terre pour refaire un autre cycle, je donne volontiers ma place à tous les abrutis qui n’auraient pas eu encore leur dose. Même si l’ange me disait : dans ta prochaine vie tu seras beau, riche et en bonne santé toute ton existence humaine, je répondrais : non je ne redescends pas dans ce bordel humain. Ça ne m’intéresse pas de refaire encore et encore la même erreur, le terre j’en ai marre, moi qui ai été envoyé sur une planète, autant que ça soit une planète sans débiles dessus, je veux bien être changé en elfe volant dans la forêt magique de Martialand, au slogan : chez Martialand on trouve de tout si tu n’as besoin de rien, prix imbattables. Enfin, si je dois me faire chier autant que ce soit dans cette vie-là, parce que après ma vie j’attends qu’on ne m’oblige plus à rien foutre que je ne veuille pas. Il paraît qu’on sera des esprits sans corps, il paraît que je pourrai aller plus vite que la lumière ou que le son. Je ne vis que pour savoir si c’est vrai, finies les douleurs dans les jambes, là je pense et je suis déjà dans le lieu que je veux être, plus besoin de passeport ni de douanes, je passe et je vous emmerde.